It's Morning, and it's time to travel...

This is called The End. It's heartache at its best. Good byes are always hard to say but sometimes they're best left unsaid. I'll climb into my boat and travel down the river to the next town. There's still chocolate stuck in my teeth that will rot my mouth if I don't brush it out; however, it'll be full of new adventures, new people, and probably an archetype of the last towns I've been in. I thought I found home but it was only an unsure welcoming that leaves me the entertainer for a while. I give people what they ask for and then the dinner is over. Eventually this cycle gets tiring. I'll pack my stuff...including the memories, but eventually the memories will fade into a gray version of what they used to be. New memories to be made. A new love to find. A new friend to find. A new life to find. Maybe next time won't hurt so bad.

Good bye night.

Hello morning sun.

Crossroads

This is what we call a roadblock in communication. We follow the path until we come to a split in the road. Shall we work together to decide whether to go left or right? One road has a sign that reads "No Outlet" and other reads "Speed Limit 55". This is where we either choose to get lost or continue driving down the open highway.

Neither the driver or the passenger will say which direction they prefer. Eventually the car is going to have to move. Either the passenger is going down the same path as the driver and he will be viciously thrown out onto the side of the road to hitch a ride with any passing driver in the middle of this damn desert.

I can only say that I'm usually the passenger that will follow the driver down any dark rabbit hole this car is spiraling down. If only I would speak up to throw my two cents into this car.

Full Blue (Blew?) Sky says "Love and Appreciate"

For today's show, we will learn to expand on words and integrate them into our lives. Appreciate is the word for today. According to dictionary.com, appreciate is "to be grateful or thankful for" or "to be fully conscious of; be aware of; detect". Sometimes it's easier to lose yourself in so many things in life that it's hard to appreciate the wonderful things that have been given to us. I like to say I'm getting better at appreciating what I have even though I sometimes find myself losing it. Sometimes I need to just step back for a moment or I need a friend to bitch slap me into the moment. Within appreciating, I can accept others with full consciousness and I can give back something that they will hopefully appreciate. Getting lost in the end of the moments is usually my problem. Why do I find the need to get wrapped up in the end of the story? I need to fully appreciate the whole story before I can be rewarded with the end.

The White Rabbit

Oh White Rabbit, may I follow?
Slow down she says
The end isn't near
Admire your home and breath your life

Oh White Rabbit, what is next?
Nothing but now she says
The end isn't near
Cherish the moment and forget the past

Oh White Rabbit, where are we going?
Follow me she says
The end isn't near
Green pastures ahead and a garden to tend

Oh White Rabbit, have I seen it all?
Nothing is all she says
The end isn't near
Life is full and nothing without

The Seductive Clown

I am both the comic and the tragic
I am the seducer and the clown
I hide behind my window
Looking at the world through my schematic eyes
To some I'm an evil genius
To others I'm an entertainer
To me I'm a tender renegade

This window is my shell
And these eyes are my tools
I'll offer you what you want
But I'll withdraw it just as easily

A lover in the shadows
A planner in the night

This is my world
Do you accept?

A Gypsy on the Road

Looking back at my life, I have always been the traveling gypsy. I move between tribes and morph into the group if I stay for a while. I've always wanted that feeling of creating my own home. That feeling of knowing you have come to your destination.

I'm tired from traveling. My feet hurt, I've lost most of my supplies, and I've changed so much that sometimes I wonder which character is truly me. I guess they are all me. If someone wants Matthew, they have to accept all of his characters..and there are a lot to find.

Have I found my destination? What's next?

Maybe I just need to learn how to stop looking for my destination and find a nice spot in the earth for this water to settle into a lake. The lake could be my own special place to swim and dry off under the single tree. I could explore every aspect of the lake and occasionally let people fish from my lake. Maybe someone could even join me for a swim.

I've also realized the craziness of my dramatic nature. I think it's my way of making people realize I exist. If I didn't push the limits, people could easily forget that I'm in the world. I guess I'll continue to make my impact every once in a while so people know who I am.

See Through the Chaos

Finding a complement to your life can be frustrating and rewarding at the same time. Although red and green are two different colors, they work together to create a sense of space. The same can be related to people. I remember hearing a radio show on Darwin's life and work. His final work never got published before he died; however, his wife was a large contribution to the progression of his work. Although she was Catholic and his work went against everything she believed, she still made sure that his work got published. She even cleaned up his structure so his argument was that much better. To her, it was the trust and love in her husband that helped his work get known. To go against your won beliefs for the love of your life is more than amazing.

So what can I learn from this story? Although I don't know why she emphasizes certain aspects of her life, I still like to hear about them because they are important to her. I can understand her more by accepting that these points are important to her. The moments of hearing these stories are more than fulfilling. Within these moments, I feel like the beam of light that is shining through the chaos of life is warming me and giving me a sense of comfort.